You know that you mean a lot to me. You're the love of my life. You're the only one who can make me smile, feel scared, shy, embarrassed, angry and all emotions there are all at once. You're the person who means a lot to me. 

A picture of you. 

That's all that I have. 

I can't have you because you're just too far away. You're just too far away. I can't seem to reach you. Not now, not ever. I just can't reach you. You're too far away. 

I want to hold you in my arms just for a second. I want to see you smile, feel your warmth and talk to you, hear your voice all at once. I want you to know how I feel but you can't know how I feel. My voice can't reach you. 

By the time it reaches you, it's already too late. 

Labels: Picture Of You

I keep staring at it and I know why. 

I don't have the guts to say the words, "Don't go."

I keep staring at your back. I keep staring at it every single day. I want you to not leave me there, all alone and hanging. I want you to pick me up and bring me with you so that I can be beside you, seeing your smiling face, not at your back. I want you to hold my hand as usual and lead me to the places that I've never seen before. I want you to look at me only, not at the other girls who would just pass by you and stare at you, knowing that you're well-known. I want you to know that I love you as who you are, not as THAT person. 

To sum it all up, I just love you. 

I want you to know that but you just won't believe the words that I say. All those times that we've spent together, where did it all go?Where are those times when all of us were smiling. All our friends would just watch as we laugh together and I try to make them laugh together. I love you more than I love myself. Do you know that you're really important to me? Why can't you just see that?

Why can't you realize?

All that I can keep is the memories. 

I never want to look at your back again. I want to be with you, beside you. But now, I want to be the one who stands in front of you. I'm going to show you what I can do. 

You better watch me shine. 

Labels: i keep staring at it

I'm a failure.

In life.

In studies.

In love.

I fail at everything.

I know many people would say somethings to cheer me up. Like, they say that you're clever too or whatnot but it just doesn't help. I just can't do anything right. I just make people disappointed. Like how I made you disappointed.

I know I didn't give you my all. I didn't show you all my love. I didn't say the things that you wanted to hear nor did I do what you wanted me to do. I know I didn't do my job as someone who loves you. I'm sorry for all that.

I know I'm already a failure in your eyes. I can't accomplish anything.

Confidence.

One thing that many has that I don't have.

The one thing that you have that I don't as well. I hate not being able to walk down the streets alone. I hate not being able to go up stage and just do what I want to, do what I've always dreamed of. I want to be just like you but that's just impossible.

I guess, if I were to say that things were impossible, you'd reply to me, "Nothing is impossible."

But somethings just are.

Like how people dream about being the first man to create some clever things but in the end, other people have done it already. Like how you say you want to be the king of the world but God is already the King and nobody can ever replace Him.

Somethings are just impossible.

Like how our relationship is right now.

Labels: Failure

Every single time I look at you, I feel like running to you. I just want to hug you and tell you how much you mean to me. I want to thank you for giving me a reason to live and not care about what others say. You thought me that I should go after my dream, even though it's against my mother's consent. You thought me that I should go after what I want and put all my effort into it. I have to give it my all in order to succeed. I don't want to only be successful in studies. I want to be good in something else; singing. I want to be just like my idols but who knows, maybe I can't? I don't think I can make it through the first audition even. Maybe I can but maybe I can't but who the hell cares? I want him to stay there with me. I want to be as close as possible to him. I want him to know that I do exist and I want to shine in his eyes. I have always been thinking of him, even in class or whatsoever. I want him to smile. Every single time I see him, he looks really tired and everytime I notice that, I feel like running up to him, slapping him and scolding him for not getting enough sleep. I want him to know that there's someone here for him, supporting him and loving him no matter what stupid things he does. He smokes, well, he used to and I'm happy that he doesn't. He can't help it. Although he's an idol, he's still human. He can love anyone he wants, go out with anyone he wants but he just doesn't want to because he doesn't want to tear away that idol image of his. I wish that he could just live life normally just like any other normal person. I'm getting tired of all the fans that always get angry at him touching another girl. Sure I get jealous too but seeing him happy is enough for me. I want him to be happy and smile for me, that's all.

You mean the world to me and you should know that. You're always on my mind and you should know that as well.You always make me worry and you should realize that. You mean the whole wide world(maybe not) but you're still the one for me. I love you and that's that. I want to see you healthy and not tired like how you look now. You know that I feel sad and upset whenever I see you tired, as if you haven't gotten any rest. Please rest if you have the time. I know that work can be such a bitch but please, think of the people who care for you the most. You know that there are still people out there that love you, not as a fan but as something else. At first, I thought that my love for you was just a fan's love but when I entered Junior High, I kept thinking of you. No guys caught my interest. It was just a simple crush, like. It wasn't major, not like how the feeling when you love someone. I know that it's love and it's god damn obvious. I keep thinking of you and I even remember the day when I first fell for you. More than two years has passed. I kept it from everyone. Everyone thinks that it's a joke but it's not. I can't go on anymore, knowing that you're not okay.You're sick and it's obvious in my eyes. I want you to know that there's always people cheering you on.

Even though you can't see them or talk to them, they're still there for you. Make sure that you actually take care of your health and open your eyes wide enough to see who the hell is there for you. There's always me so watch out for the whacky me !

Labels: Run To You

Labels: Looking Back

Labels: Bored.

Labels: Love